One of the oncologists came in this morning and called Diego a "rockstar". It probably made my day. Apparently he had done so well in the surgery and looked so good, that everyone has been talking about him. The team here is elated at how well he is doing. I feel good, but to be honest, until he starts acting like more of himself it's hard to feel more than just a sigh of relief. He still has months of chemo to go once we get out of here.

We are still in PICU in an interior room with no natural light. I had asked that he be transferred to a room with a window but when surgery became imminent and there was no time to move. The nurse told me that he will probably be transferred back to the floor tomorrow, which is great news. Pain management seems to be what is keeping him here. Morphine seems to be his drug of choice, while they have tried a number of other alternatives nothing has worked as well. He will have to be weaned off it in order for us to go home. But with the tumor out, I would imagine he will only start feeling better from here on out.

The surgeon came in late last night and talked to Erich and I about the surgery. Before surgery he had discussed the possibility of Diego losing some organs other than the bad kidney and worse. The tumor, once removed, was "mushy" and more prone to bleed. And that it probably wasn't the biopsy or radiation that caused the bleed, it was probably just the biology of the tumor. The tumor, he said, was about the size of a football. Originally I'm remembering that it had been closer to half that size three and a half weeks ago when first diagnosed. The doctors really feel that the bleeding caused the stretching and enlargement. An additional pathology report will be done to determine that it is still in line with the original. Despite my concern over a misdiagnosis, the doctors feel that there is only a very small chance that the pathology report will be any different. The surgeon did a second, larger incision that enabled him to go under the diaphragm to access the tumor. Diego will essentially have a big "F" shaped scar on his chest and abdomen when he heals.

Diego is sleeping quietly now, finally. It was another really rough night last night. Because he has been on so much pain medication for the past three weeks the anesthesiologist found it challenging to properly sedate him. He was overly awake after surgery. He had a breathing tube in and about 4 different IVs not including the central line in his chest. It was a really horrible sight for a parent to see, with him restrained and struggling to get out. Initially we were just so happy to see him again, but throughout the night the repeated wakings made it quite traumatic. He and I have had a lot of traumatic nights at the hospital with procedures done in the wee hours. I joked with my sister today that being abducted by aliens and being probed repeatedly is just your average night in the hospital. I've tried to go with him as much as possible to comfort him but I've started to worry about him resenting me for letting people put him through all of this. I asked our nurse if he would remember any of this by the time he was a teenager and she told me probably not because of the sedation. I joked that by the time he is 16 he will, no doubt, hate me for other reasons.